The Endless Hours

Some may think it very strange of me to be logged on and even posting on a social network. I do hope you will bear with me while I try to explain.

It has been almost 13 hours since I ran into the ICU. I had been called by the intensive care specialist. He told me that my darling husband whom we thought had been stable, had crashed when they attempted dialysis. Randy was not expected to survive until morning.

I made all the phone calls I could and begged family members to make more. My father --bless him-- not only found the information I needed but also sat in death watch with me until the wee hours of the morning. Even David/Dante sat with us, silently supportive when my courage ran low.

The hours have been torture and endless. The seconds hand of the clock moves with infinite slowness, marking every second. Every beep of the monitor emphasizes how helpless I am to bolster my husband's weakening body.

There are many friends and family scattered across the world, and therefore impossible to call and talk to them all, even if I did not pay for every minute. I know you all want to know the latest. Rather than repeat the same information, I choose to use the internet. It is not discourtesy, it is efficient use of limited resources.

To those who think me crass and impolite, I have no time to placate your offended sensibilites. My focus is on my husband.