Monday, January 12, 2009

Sexy New Year's Resolutions

A Very Happy New Year to You!

New Year's resolutions don't all have to be about giving up the things you enjoy. Instead, opt for a more positive approach and resolve to boost your love life over the coming months with the following resolutions:

1. I will kiss my partner every day. Couples who kiss regularly are more likely to stay together than those who have sex lots but don't kiss, according to research.

2. I won't compare my sex life to other people's. One of the easiest ways to feel bad about your relationship is by constantly worrying about what everyone else is up to. If you're happy and your partner's happy, forget everyone else and enjoy yourselves (they may not be levelling with you, anyway!).

3. I will try a new sex position at least once per month. Most couples only stick to three positions, then wonder why they get into a rut. I use and recommend this set of flash cards for inspiration:

The more adventurous may wish for a more definitive guide:

4. I won't pressure my partner for sex when they're not in the mood. Everyone has different libidos and it's rare that you'll be in the mood when your partner is every single time. That's one of the joys of masturbation! And if it's affection you're after then cuddle up instead. If you have sex when you both want it, you'll have a much more enjoyable experience.

Ladies, when he's in the mood but you're not, may I recommend this little gem:

However, I do caution you to use lube with it.

5. I will keep myself open to new ideas. It's easy to refuse automatically to do anything you haven't tried before but that knee-jerk reaction won't help your relationship. Unless you really hate the idea of trying a particular act, what's the harm in giving it a go for your partner's sake? You can always stop if you don't like it.

6. I won't just go through the motions.Sex has so many variations that you don't need to stick to the same foreplay routine every time, but it can be easy to just do what you know works. Mix it up with new outfits, fantasies and techniques to help keep your relationship on the boil.

Costumes and role-play can be so much fun! Start here: and don't forget to check out the panties down at the bottom.

7. I will take time to relax. Stress is one of the biggest libido-killers so making time for massage, yoga or simply a few breathing exercises will help you feel frisky.

8. I will tell my partner what I want. If you know someone well enough to have sex with them, you know them well enough to talk about it so don't be afraid to - gently - tell them what works for you and what leaves you cold. If you don't ask, how are they supposed to know?

9. I will compliment my partner at least five times so they feel loved. Psychologists say it takes five compliments to negate one criticism, no matter how kindly meant or said. So, to keep your partner's confidence riding high, say it like you mean it five times a day.


Cyn said...

You know something-- this is FANTASTIC. It's something I have to admit, sometimes I'm not as powerful on doing, though I think it.

I really DO need to get those cards though. I've got some Japanese Pillow book ones that are fantastic (and out of print) but I want another set.

Just so you know-- you're loved and appreciated by me. You're a damn fantastic writer and friend, Lena. I mean that. *hugs*

Lena Austin said...

Thank you, Cyn. Let's have a big ol' cuddlefest. **HUG**


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