Foreplay before the Foreplay

Men are simple — and that's not an insult when we're talking about sexual arousal! You know the drill: You give your partner that "come hither" eye or break out some sexy lingerie and it instantly gets him in the mood. Well, it takes a little more than that to get the sensual juices flowing for many women. In fact, it's often activities that have absolutely nothing to do with sex that make women want to do it in the first place.

Sound confusing? Well, it's really not. Foreplay starts long before you ever make it into the bedroom! It turns out that women whose partners pay attention to them outside the boudoir are more likely to feel sexual when he's in the mood. It can start with the simple act of him helping pack the kids' lunches or taking care of that pile of laundry that has sat there all day. And it's not just about the drudgery of daily chores! Men who check in with their partners emotionally — even if it's an hour of cuddle time in front of the TV at night or a conversation about the day — create the intimacy women crave.

Ultimately, it's that caring and sharing that women really look for in a long-term relationship. While hormones and neurochemicals take care of sex in the beginning, it's what we put into a relationship later on that keeps the sex coming (or going) for life!

***

I have to agree with Dr. Berman. I’ve found that while the men in my life can be easily aroused, many of my women friends and I talk about living in an emotional desert and then suddenly being asked to flame on. It does take more than a “Hey, baby! Ya wanna?”

That’s why I love what I do. I create a temporary oasis in the emotional desert of our lives where we may indulge in a few fantasies. Therefore, when the opportunity does arise (pun intended) we have a wellspring of pre-foreplay that has prepared us for a bit of fun.

Let’s face it. Few men I know can take the time or imagination to set up a fantasy. Those few who do are very much in demand. My DH has one day off a week, and many requests for his time and energy. I have to be ready when he is, not the other way around.

I don’t wait for him to create my foreplay. I make it happen with my own fantasies, and you know what? I get more out of the frisky play that way, because it’s all what I want and need.

This week, I’m feeling the need for a little bit of vampires. Where’s my CD of Danse Macabre? The red silk sheets are on the bed, the candles are placed around the room, the “bleeding” wine goblets are ready, and I’m hunting up the black lingerie. DH is going to have a little surprise. I think he’ll bite…don’t you?

Baking Soda Tips for Harried Moms and Grandmas

Cleaning Baby Equipment
Little hands mean lots of exploring. Safely clean your baby’s area (play pen, changing table, crib, stroller, car seat and high chair) with ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda. Just sprinkle ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda directly on a clean damp sponge and rub the item clean. Rinse thoroughly and allow to dry. Sparkling clean and no harsh cleaners to worry about!

Cleaning Baby Toys
Don’t toy around with harsh cleaners. Clean and deodorize baby toys safely and effectively using 4 tablespoons of ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda dissolved in 1 quart of warm water. Wash toys with a clean damp sponge or cloth, rinse and dry.

Freshen Stuffed Animals
Even Mr. Bear needs a bath. Keep favorite cuddly toys fresh with a dry shower of ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda. Just sprinkle ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda on and let it sit for 15 minutes before brushing off. It’s gentle enough for use around your baby and Teddy will appreciate it too!

Cleaning Baby Equipment
Little hands mean lots of exploring. Safely clean your baby’s area (play pen, changing table, crib, stroller, car seat and high chair) with ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda. Just sprinkle ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda directly on a clean damp sponge and rub the item clean. Rinse thoroughly and allow to dry. Sparkling clean and no harsh cleaners to worry about!

Just For Kids
ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda invites you to open a box and begin an adventure! Children learn best by doing. As they explore with their hands, they push the boundaries of imagination. We have recipes, activities and experiments to satisfy the most curious and creative youngsters. Ready, Set, Fun, Go! And don’t forget the importance of adult supervision, especially with young children.

Baby spills on carpet
Even little ones can make big messes! Clean and deodorize baby spills on carpets by soaking up as much of the liquid as possible. Clean the stain according to the manufacturers directions and allow to dry. Then to deodorize, when the area is completely dry, sprinkle liberally with ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda and let sit for 15 minutes before vacuuming it up. Check for color-fastness first before applying ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda.

Clean Walls
Clean and remove marks (even crayon!) from walls and painted furniture by applying ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda to a damp sponge and rubbing lightly. Wipe off with a clean, dry cloth.

Just For Kids
ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda invites you to open a box and begin an adventure! Children learn best by doing. As they explore with their hands, they push the boundaries of imagination. We have recipes, activities and experiments to satisfy the most curious and creative youngsters. Ready, Set, Fun, Go! And don’t forget the importance of adult supervision, especially with young children.

Clean Furniture
Clean and remove marks (even crayon!) from walls and painted furniture by applying ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda to a damp sponge and rubbing lightly. Wipe off with a clean, dry cloth.

ADULTS ONLY FROM HERE, PLEASE:

Because Lena can't keep it clean in her mind....

Cleaning Mommy's Toys from the "Magic Box Under the Bed" (wink)
Don’t toy around with harsh cleaners. Clean and deodorize your adult toys safely and effectively using 4 tablespoons of ARM & HAMMER® Baking Soda dissolved in 1 quart of warm water. Wash toys with a clean damp sponge or cloth, rinse and dry. Do I really have to tell you not to immerse your battery operated toys unless they're designed for water play? Wipe them down.

Boost the Romance

10 Ways to Boost the Romance
By Dr. Laura Berman, creator of DrLauraBerman.com

Leave a Polaroid of yourself in his briefcase or car. What you're wearing (or not wearing) is up to you!

Make an "I love you" coupon book that each of you can use when you feel like it. Some coupon ideas include: Kiss me here. Wear my favorite ___ . Act out a fantasy. Give me a 10-minute massage.

Plan a weekend away together. Make it an erotic vacation, no matter where you go. Bring toys and lubricant, order room service, have no contact with the outside world (unless it's an emergency), and indulge in food and drink. It doesn't have to be expensive, but if you want it to be, then make a plan for saving up — it'll give you something to look forward to.

Try a female-friendly erotic video. Contrary to popular belief, women benefit from watching sexy videos as much as men do. Maybe you'll be inspired to try something new. Pick a video that you think you'll like — it may not be his first choice, but he'll be thrilled anyway!

Call your partner in the middle of the day and explain what you want to do to him later that night. You can get graphic or you can be coy and seductive, with subtle, come-home-soon hints.

Have sex with your eyes open to heighten your connection. Keep your eyes locked on each other during the especially passionate moments (the ones we normally close our eyes during). Look at each other when one or both you orgasms.

Take a bath together. Make sure to include candles and essential oil, such as lavender oil. Take turns washing each other. Include a waterproof toy if you'd like.

Spend five minutes kissing — it's the only thing that will help you rediscover the passion and sensuality that your kisses hold! Plus, it can remind you of your first kiss.

Write him a note about your most memorable sexual encounter or time together. It will spark your memory and get the creative juices flowing.

Have a "giving" day. One of you agrees to completely give, with no expectations about what you'll get in return. From breakfast in bed to an out-of-the-ordinary treat to sex later that night, one of you shows your love for the other and thereby increases intimacy for both of you.

Last Updated: 08/15/2007
Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, is assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University and director of the Berman Center in Chicago. Dr. Berman's online program, The Passion Prescription, based on her book of the same name, provides a step-by-step guide to recharging and making over your sex life.

Sex Toy Care Kit

How do you take care of your toys?

Sex Toys Care Kit
By Dr. Laura Berman, creator of DrLauraBerman.com

If you're going to be playing with toys, make sure you take care of them! Here are a few basic items to stock in your Toy Care Kit:

Antibacterial cleaner. Or at the very least, use soap and water to wash your toy after each use. Remember, if you decide to use a toy in or around the anus (on either of you), it should be washed before once again stimulating the vulva. And always clean your sex toy if you decide to share it with anyone else!

Extra batteries. Check your toy's required size so you never run out of the power you need for a good time!

An all-purpose lubricant. K-Y Ultra Gel is a good option because it's both water-based and glycerin-free. Remember, water-based lubricants work with any toys (and if they're also free of glycerin, they're less likely to cause yeast infections). Silicone-based lubricants are not safe for silicone toys, and oil-based lubricants should not be used with rubber toys.

The instructions. Keep the manual that comes with your toy (or toys!) so you'll always know how to use it properly. You can refer back to the manual at any time, and you may be surprised by how versatile your toy can be! And naturally, you should check to see if your toy is waterproof before attempting to use it in the bath or shower.

Accessories. Some intimate accessories have their own accessories! For example, a vibrator may be compatible with a clitoral tickler or a series of G-spot stimulators. Find out whether your new toy has the potential for any of these special extras and then go ahead — accessorize!

Note from Lena: I keep my toys in their own zip-top bags, just to prevent cross-contamination in case I ever get careless. You never know!

Last Updated: 08/15/2007
Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, is assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University and director of the Berman Center in Chicago. Dr. Berman's online program, The Passion Prescription, based on her book of the same name, provides a step-by-step guide to recharging and making over your sex life.

How to Give a Man Oral Stimulation

I'm sure I'm not the first to tell you that men love oral sex! Maybe it's the thought of you pleasing only him, maybe it's that he gets to watch you do it, or maybe it's the stimulation that only a tongue can give, but whatever it is — he loves it. Many women give up on oral sex because they find it unpleasant or figure they can just have intercourse instead. If you've had problems with oral sex in the past, I encourage you to give it another try. It can be a great way to show your partner you care about pleasing him.

Give It a Chance

To start off, here's a tip for anyone worried about her gag reflex: Focus on breathing through your nose and using your hand to provide stimulation as well as your mouth, so you can control how much of him is going into your mouth and how far back he's going. This technique will reduce the chances of his penis hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag.

If you don't want to swallow, it's perfectly fine to let it go on his stomach or switch to intercourse before he climaxes. This is something you may consider discussing with your partner before you engage in oral stimulation so he can warn you when he is nearing climax.

Warm Up

Begin licking his testicles and the shaft of his penis. Use your hands to help massage him — start at the base of the penis and slide them up and down around the shaft. Try rubbing his testicles, licking them, and cupping them in your mouth.

Get Going

Slide your mouth over the head of his penis. If he has a foreskin, you may want to pull it back first. Suck gently with the traditional up-and-down motion. And make sure you are very careful not to scrape his penis with your teeth.

Explore

Discover the different sensations you can use to arouse him. Suck harder, softer, faster, and slower, until you figure out what he likes. Alternate between sucking, licking, and kissing. Bring other parts of your body in on the action — your breasts, for example.

Blow

Use your breath to tease him. Blow long breaths along the shaft of the penis, or tease him with short, rhythmic breaths over the head.

Pay Attention

Observe his body language (and his erection) so you know if he's enjoying your moves. You can also just ask. I'm sure he'll be happy to give you feedback.

Show Him

Let him know you're enjoying giving him pleasure. Make eye contact with him. Moan a little. The vibration of your voice can create another level of stimulation.

When he is about to climax, continue with a steady motion of whatever stimulation you're giving him at the moment. If you don't want to swallow, try to make a quick but subtle and seamless transition to manual stimulation. Once he climaxes, hold him in your mouth (or hand) for a moment without moving. Men are extremely sensitive right after they orgasm, so give him a moment to relax before gently releasing him.

One thing that all men have in common is that they like to have their genitals touched. If you want him to take the time to warm you up properly, give him what he wants by going for his genitals faster. That's right — the next time you're starting to get it on, unzip his pants and give him a nice kiss!

I hope the His and Her Guide to Oral Stimulation will bring you and your partner a lot of pleasure! Remember that toys can be incorporated into any sex act to enhance arousal and spice up the experience for both you and your partner. Once you get your technique down, try getting creative by orally pleasing each other in different positions — sitting, standing, or in tandem!

Last Updated: 08/15/2007
Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, is assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University and director of the Berman Center in Chicago. Dr. Berman's online program, The Passion Prescription, based on her book of the same name, provides a step-by-step guide to recharging and making over your sex life.

How to Give A Woman Oral Stimulation

By Dr. Laura Berman, creator of DrLauraBerman.com

Foreplay before the foreplay is always a must. And the best way to heat things up is with a little lip service. Kissing on the mouth, the neck, and all over can be very erotic. Once you're warmed up, try these techniques for taking kissing to the next level.

Guide for Him

A woman loves it when a man pleases her orally. It is often the best way for her to reach orgasm. For some men, this can be intimidating, but with the right technique and attitude, you'll be a pro in no time.

Warm Up

Start by kissing her abdomen and inner thighs and then tease her a bit. Alternate the stimulation between her genitals and other parts of her body to really turn her on.

Get Into It

Take in her scent and taste, and let her know that you're enjoying yourself. Use your tongue and lips to stimulate the labia majora and minora. Begin with long, slow kisses and licking and gradually increase the speed and intensity as her arousal builds. Don't just lick up and down, since concentrating on only one spot can lead to overstimulation.

Explore

Move your tongue in different directions. Experiment with speed and pressure, but try to keep a rhythm or steady pattern of movement since short spurts of erratic stimulation are likely to throw her focus off. And don't just use your tongue and lips — your fingers, teeth, nose, and breath can also be employed as oral pleasers and teasers.

The perineum is another sensitive area. You can stimulate it with either your tongue or your fingers (but don't use the same fingers around her vagina without washing first, because bacteria from the anus can be harmful to the vagina). See Is Anal Sex Safe?

Use Your Hand

Manual stimulation can be just as much of an art form as oral stimulation. For women who prefer less direct contact, try moving your fingers in a small figure eight around the clitoris, then try making a larger figure eight over the entire length of her vulva.

You can also hold her labia open while you use your middle finger to stroke up and down. Many women enjoy having the vaginal opening massaged. If your partner prefers direct pressure on her clitoris, you can tap or rub it constantly with one or two of your fingers.

Pay Attention

Stay aware of the telltale signs of her enjoyment, such as moaning and heavy breathing. She may squeeze your hand, grip the sheet, or push her pelvis up toward your face. Other physical signs, such as increased vaginal lubrication and swelling of her vulva, will also clue you in to her pleasure. And if you're still not sure, it's okay to ask if she likes it. Communication is key when it comes to great sex.

If she remains silent or still or, even worse, pulls away from you, that's your hint to slow down and try something different. Ask her what feels good or how and where she prefers to be touched. Let her know that you're interested in her feedback and that your goal is to please her.

Go for the Gold

When she is appropriately aroused, start using your tongue to stimulate her clitoris — the most sensitive part of a woman's anatomy. Some women enjoy direct contact; for others indirect contact is better. This may also vary as arousal intensifies.

While working the clitoris with your mouth, insert one or two fingers into her vagina with a gentle thrusting motion. If you tilt them upward just slightly, you can also massage the G-spot. You'll know you've hit it when you feel a spongy bump about one to two inches inside the vagina toward her navel. Done right, clitoral stimulation is the best way to bring a woman to the edge of orgasm and then take her over the edge.

One significant way in which women and men differ sexually is in their post-climax physiology. For you, there is a refractory period that zaps your energy and can last several hours. For her, there is still excellent potential for arousal after orgasm. Some women can even have multiple orgasms. If you and your partner take the time to understand how sex may be different for you than it is for her, you'll be able to find your rhythm together, and that's what good sex is really about.

If you're still feeling reluctant, or need some more pointers, get a copy of the book She Comes First by Ian Kerner. It's a step-by-step guide to oral sex in which Kerner explains the importance of oral stimulation for women and gives you more instruction on how to do it well.

Last Updated: 08/15/2007
Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, is assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University and director of the Berman Center in Chicago. Dr. Berman's online program, The Passion Prescription, based on her book of the same name, provides a step-by-step guide to recharging and making over your sex life.

Ya Think, Dr Berman?

Geez, all Dr. Berman had to do was ask an erotica writer...we would have told her for the cost of a few ebooks.


Need a little help getting your fantasy life going? Here are 10 hot and steamy stories to get you started. And remember, fantasy comes from relaxing and letting your mind wander!

Sexual Submission
Women often imagine themselves being ravaged and taken control of — it doesn't mean you want it in your real sex life, but it's fun to entertain the idea. Fantasize about someone powerful having his way with you sexually. Maybe there are blindfolds or restraints. Maybe you're taken by surprise!

Voyeuristic Sex
You're being watched while you're having sex, maybe being forced to have sex in front of other people. You might also be the one spying on someone else having sex. Anyone, a stranger or someone you know, can be the subject of this fantasy. You would be ashamed — maybe ruined — if anyone ever found out. But that's exactly what makes it so good!

Knight in Shining Armor
This is the romantic's fantasy. Your perfect man courts you, seduces you, and makes you feel everything you've ever desired. He treats you in all of the ways your partner does not. He pampers you, understands you, and totally worships you. He also makes all of your sexual fantasies come true, without your even asking.

Being a "Bad" Girl
Women who follow all the rules in daily life may dream of letting the bad girl out to play. Maybe you strip for a roomful of men or seduce a man you've just met for casual sex. You're aggressive, and you go after who and what you want with no apologies!

Taking Control
Many women dream of taking charge in their favorite sexual fantasies. You could be a dominatrix leading a man back to your hideout and planning to make him your sex slave. You'll tie him up until he promises to be submissive, and then you'll tell him when, where, and how to touch you.

Sex With an Ex
Do you, like many other women, have an ex who rocked your world sexually or who loved you and left you (giving him a permanent place in the land of unresolved relationships)? Imagine running into him unexpectedly and beginning a passionate affair — because the sex is still that good.

Girl-on-Girl
It's you and the woman of your dreams. Whether Angelina Jolie is your idea of a hot babe or you'd rather make someone up, fantasizing about lesbian sex is especially appealing for women who've never actually experienced it. Imagine what her female body feels like (so different from your partner's) and how you'll stimulate each other.

Group Sex
Everything from an orgy to a threesome falls into this category. Maybe you're watching a group of other people have sex. What about having a threesome with two guys? Two girls? A guy and a girl? You kiss one person but your hands are on another. Anything goes!

Sex on the Beach
You're on vacation, so everything is tropical and lazy. You've met someone intoxicating and you're having sex on the hot sand, the water about to crash onto you. Sex has never been so good! You're in paradise, but you know it has to end.

Kinky Sex
Dreaming of something even more outrageous? This is the fantasy about your deepest desires — the ones you would probably never share with anyone — but that arouse you and provoke you. Maybe they are desires that go against all of your morals, or are even societal taboos. Use your imagination. No one has to know.

Last Updated: 08/15/2007
Laura Berman, LCSW, PhD, is assistant clinical professor of ob-gyn and psychiatry at the Feinberg School of Medicine at Northwestern University and director of the Berman Center in Chicago. Dr. Berman's online program, The Passion Prescription, based on her book of the same name, provides a step-by-step guide to recharging and making over your sex life.

Sex In the News-- Reasons to Have Sex

Okay, I had to laugh. Who needs 237 reasons to have sex? Reasons? They think?

http://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/better-sex/237-reasons-to-have-sex.aspx?xid=nl_EverydayHealthWomensHealth_20090217


Lena

The Depraved Duchess shares The Lover's Guide

Valentine's is over, but who says romance can only happen once a year? Let's go over a few little things that get the mood going anytime.

Try this:

1. Gentlemen: get up, walk the dog, shower, give the kids extra pocket money and tell them to go play. Routine tasks accomplished, now is the time for the Champagne breakfast - because it's meant to be a bit cliché; this is a hallmark of romance and there are no prizes for undue originality here. Similarly, the roses - enough said.

2. There's a sexy little extra you can bring to this scene, however. While your lover stirs, touch the chilled bottle to her cheek or neck and then the sexy new toy you've thought to buy for her - this having spent some time alone with the toy working out what the buttons do and which way the batteries fit. Bingo: you've shown you're a liberated guy, that you value your partner's pleasure and you don't worry if your penis isn't solely responsible for that. And you've set the day buzzing right from the word go.

3. Exchange some love messages. On a card, write what you love most about your partner. Express gratitude at having them in your life. It may be you find it easier to express your feelings on paper than in spoken words. Perhaps you might like to give two cards, one for the mantelpiece, for all to see, with that question mark, and one more sexually adventurous card - You'll know the sort of sexy talk you and your partner like, and what your partner thinks of as steamy and what as rude. Another way of sharing written messages is for both of you to write, on individual pieces of paper, the things you'd most like to try, perhaps colour coded for him and her. Pop them into a hat, take a slurp on that Champagne, and in your wandering hands go. ('I want to run the tip of my tongue from your toes to the nape of your neck'; 'I want to wear blindfolds to make love'; 'I want to hold you while you masturbate'. Dot dot dot.)

4. Prolong your lovemaking. This doesn't mean you necessarily have to leap from sex position to sex play treat and back again, until your personal trainer might be telling you to calm down. There's an awful lot to be said for just being together, touching, caressing each other and kissing, letting your thoughts and your bodies find their own pace. You might like to watch a DVD together, settle back and take in some fresh perspectives on your favourite techniques, and discover plenty of new ones. However you make love now, we should safely expect the rest of the day, until you make love again, to be marked with a certain glow.

In the news

Regulating the net. Would you like to be in charge of what you see and read on the internet? Do you feel incapable of regulating your browser experience, preferring instead for people with more wisdom than you have, the sort who exist in committees, to decide what it's okay for you to look at. We know, of course, about the Great Firewall of China. Australia has been threatening to filter. In the UK, 'extreme porn', hazily defined, is now illegal. In India, watch what you're browsing - and who's watching you.


Teen spirit. You'd think the raging hormones, the new and enhanced body bits and (every young person's) solo-invention of masturbation might be enough to contend with. Meanwhile, 'orthodox' adulthood's ever-escalating sexual anxiety - and general identity crisis - keeps getting itself offloaded, piled to ever more Taliban-esque heights, and all this in the name of protection, on teenage minds looking for teenage kicks. Yes, we know virginity pledges don't work and are actually counterproductive. (Did you know that in England a parent is potentially and technically liable for up to 15 years if not so little Jonnie is snogging his girl upstairs?) And yes, we know that teenage pregnancy is a really bad idea. Anyway, Scotland's been rethinking its laws of late. Will they be fondling each other's bits next year?

Happy loving

We hope you're feeling the first hints of Spring and that you've plenty of great ideas about how you can celebrate your love for your partner - on Valentine's and indeed the whole year round.

Meantime: love yourself; love your partner. Vibrate.

Sex Toy of the Month-- Esse Stage

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Penis Size-- An ADULT discussion

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Sex Position of the Month-- Jockey

You can see it in action Here.


A variation of Rear Entry, the Jockey position is both hot and intimate. The receiver has their legs almost closed, with their partner's legs on the outside. This positions the penis or strap-on at an angle for better stimulation of the G-Spot or prostate gland.

The receiver's buttocks should be pushed up in the air, like a small hump. If entry is difficult, try placing a pillow under the receiver's pelvis. Also, while the giver is mounted on the receiver, the receiver can masturbate.

This position is great for anal intercourse as well.

Sex Toy of the Month-- Between the Sheets

Baby, it's COLD outside! This is the time of year to snuggle up with the partner(s) of your choice and do the "green" thing by sharing body warmth and turning down the thermostat.

That is, until you end up sleeping in the wet spot. BRR! Those little spots of leftover body fluids can sure ruin the mood.

Unless you have Between the Sheets. This little gem should be in every woman's Magic Box Under the Bed. Heck, I keep mine proudly on a shelf above my bureau, ready for action. I wish it came in a travel size, but I'll make do.

This is more than a pleasantly-scented talcum spray to get rid of that icy little wet spot. Sure, a blast of Between the Sheets, a short wait, and you can brush away the remains. That's a superb primary use. But there's a lot more to this product than a mere after-sex clean-up spray.

Between the Sheets is loaded with pheremones, making it an excellent seduction scent. You want this to be the greatest night of his life and bring him to animalistic madness? Start by spraying your home and bed lightly with this spray. Yes, seduce him with scent and pheremones. You can even spray it on your body just before you leave for that romantic dinner and dancing. The talc will keep you cool and dry through all your exertions on the dance floor while the pheremones drive him wild with desire.

Now that's an all around workhorse product that makes my seductions a snap.

No, I don't work for Slumber Parties. I just like their products and their guarantees. You'll see me mention them often. I like shopping there.

Sexy New Year's Resolutions

A Very Happy New Year to You!

New Year's resolutions don't all have to be about giving up the things you enjoy. Instead, opt for a more positive approach and resolve to boost your love life over the coming months with the following resolutions:

1. I will kiss my partner every day. Couples who kiss regularly are more likely to stay together than those who have sex lots but don't kiss, according to research.

2. I won't compare my sex life to other people's. One of the easiest ways to feel bad about your relationship is by constantly worrying about what everyone else is up to. If you're happy and your partner's happy, forget everyone else and enjoy yourselves (they may not be levelling with you, anyway!).

3. I will try a new sex position at least once per month. Most couples only stick to three positions, then wonder why they get into a rut. I use and recommend this set of flash cards for inspiration: http://www.slumberparties.com/productdetail.cfm?ProductIDCode=1159

The more adventurous may wish for a more definitive guide: http://www.slumberparties.com/productdetail.cfm?ProductIDCode=53&CategoryID=7

4. I won't pressure my partner for sex when they're not in the mood. Everyone has different libidos and it's rare that you'll be in the mood when your partner is every single time. That's one of the joys of masturbation! And if it's affection you're after then cuddle up instead. If you have sex when you both want it, you'll have a much more enjoyable experience.

Ladies, when he's in the mood but you're not, may I recommend this little gem:

http://www.slumberparties.com/productdetail.cfm?ProductIDCode=193&CategoryID=1

However, I do caution you to use lube with it.

5. I will keep myself open to new ideas. It's easy to refuse automatically to do anything you haven't tried before but that knee-jerk reaction won't help your relationship. Unless you really hate the idea of trying a particular act, what's the harm in giving it a go for your partner's sake? You can always stop if you don't like it.

6. I won't just go through the motions.Sex has so many variations that you don't need to stick to the same foreplay routine every time, but it can be easy to just do what you know works. Mix it up with new outfits, fantasies and techniques to help keep your relationship on the boil.

Costumes and role-play can be so much fun! Start here: http://www.slumberparties.com/products.cfm?CategoryID=9 and don't forget to check out the panties down at the bottom.

7. I will take time to relax. Stress is one of the biggest libido-killers so making time for massage, yoga or simply a few breathing exercises will help you feel frisky.

8. I will tell my partner what I want. If you know someone well enough to have sex with them, you know them well enough to talk about it so don't be afraid to - gently - tell them what works for you and what leaves you cold. If you don't ask, how are they supposed to know?

9. I will compliment my partner at least five times so they feel loved. Psychologists say it takes five compliments to negate one criticism, no matter how kindly meant or said. So, to keep your partner's confidence riding high, say it like you mean it five times a day.