The Sin of Conjunctions used as Transitions

If there's one thing I personally can't stand, it's using conjunctions at the beginning of sentences. AND, BUT and OR are conjunctions used to string phrases together. They do not belong at the beginning of sentences.

However, let me clarify something. Using conjunctions at the beginning of sentences is part of the American language, particularly for those with less education. They will also be found in "street" dialects. Therefore, it can be used sparingly --please, very sparingly!-- in dialogue. Such things are not acceptable in narrative unless you choose deliberately to convey to the reader that the POV character is of the lower classes or less educated.

Acceptable: He gave them a nasty glare. "And I wanna add that I don' like being bribed."

Unacceptable: And he added, "I don't like being bribed." (Two sins in one, there. A conjunction and a lazy dialogue tag.)

Instead of using poor grammar, here are some alternatives provided by Peggy Roberts, one of my former editors.

To Add:
and, again, and then, besides, equally important, finally, further, furthermore, nor, too, next, lastly, what's more, moreover, in addition, first (second, etc.),
To Compare:
whereas, but, yet, on the other hand, however, nevertheless, on the other hand, on the contrary, by comparison, where, compared to, up against, balanced against, vis a vis, but, although, conversely, meanwhile, after all, in contrast, although this may be true
To Prove:
because, for, since, for the same reason, obviously, evidently, furthermore, moreover, besides, indeed, in fact, in addition, in any case, that is
To Show Exception:
yet, still, however, nevertheless, in spite of, despite, of course, once in a while, sometimes
To Show Time:
immediately, thereafter, soon, after a few hours, finally, then, later, previously, formerly, first (second, etc.), next, and then
To Repeat:
in brief, as I have said, as I have noted, as has been noted,
To Emphasize:
definitely, extremely, obviously, in fact, indeed, in any case, absolutely, positively, naturally, surprisingly, always, forever, perennially, eternally, never, emphatically, unquestionably, without a doubt, certainly, undeniably, without reservation
To Show Sequence:
first, second, third, and so forth. A, B, C, and so forth. next, then, following this, at this time, now, at this point, after, afterward, subsequently, finally, consequently, previously, before this, simultaneously, concurrently, thus, therefore, hence, next, and then, soon
To Give an Example:
for example, for instance, in this case, in another case, on this occasion, in this situation, take the case of, to demonstrate, to illustrate, as an illustration, to illustrate
To Summarize or Conclude:
in brief, on the whole, summing up, to conclude, in conclusion, as I have shown, as I have said, hence, therefore, accordingly, thus, as a result, consequently, on the whole,

More Transition Markers to use in place of Conjunctions below.

Some Useful Transition Markers
To repeat an idea just stated: In other words, That is, To repeat, Again,
To restate an idea more precisely: To be exact, To be specific, To be precise, More specifically, More precisely,
To illustrate an idea: For example, For instance, In particular, To illustrate, In this manner, Thus,
To mark a new idea as an addition to what has been said: Similarly, Also, Too, Besides, Furthermore, Further, Moreover, In addition,
To announce a contrast, a change in direction: Yet, However, Still, Nevertheless, On the other hand, In contrast, Instead of, On the contrary, Conversely, Notwithstanding, In spite of this,
To show cause and effect: As a result, For this reason, Therefore, Hence, Consequently, Accordingly,
Time: At once, In the interim, At length, Immediately, At last, Meanwhile, In the meantime, Presently, At the same time, Shortly, In the end, Temporarily, Thereafter,
Conclusion: In short, To conclude, In brief, On the whole, In summary, To sum up,

Passive and Showing vs. Telling

Yes, this is getting repetitive. Sometimes you have to explain something multiple times before the right phrasing or example comes up that causes the light bulb to go off in someone's head. Bear with me.

One of the easiest ways to spot passive voice is by the use of conjugations of "be": was, am, is with a helping verb ending in -ing or -ed.

Example: was willing, am going.

Instead of "she was willing" you can say "she eagerly nodded her consent." Not only are you showing the reader by the character's actions that they want to do that thing.

Action speaks louder than your words. Peppering your manuscript with descriptive and emotional actions will convey much more forcefully what's in the characters' heads than a narrative that simply says, "she was willing."

Would you rather read:

She was willing. She picked up the gun and left the room. He heard gunshots.

Or...

She nodded with a feral smile on her dirty face. Then, she snatched the AK-47 from the table and removed the safety like the pro she was. "Let's kick some ass." She darted out of the room, with her rifle firing a rapid staccato.

In the first example, the author simply told you what happened. In the second example, she showed you.

Passive voice is weak, lazy storytelling. It's a bad habit, but one that you can correct with a few button presses, because more often than not your helping verb can become active.

"She was nodding" becomes "she nodded."

"He was running" becomes "He ran."

Better still is to think beyond the most common verbs. Instead of "nodded", how about "jerked her chin". Instead of "ran" how about "dashed"?

In other cases, try something more descriptive.

"He was flabbergasted" is telling.

His jaw hung open and he stared, his blue eyes wide. "I don't believe you." That's showing.

Get it? I hope so.

Lena's No-No List for Macros

ly
as- This is a biggie, lately. Use it with similes, but be careful not to use it to describe sequential events, such as: "As he turned, she shot him." Say instead, "He whipped around and beheld the Colt 45 in her hand. The crack of a gunshot, and he felt the bullet explode into his body...) Don't waste the opportunity to describe.

that
it
kind of
sort of
almost
maybe
somehow
something
***
Ing
be
been
being
are
was
is
will be
had been
am
were
have
would
could
should
went
ed

***
somewhat
perhaps
nearly
very
only
just
suddenly
almost
should
would
could
feel
felt
begin
began
rather
a few
seem
appear
quite
really
always
***
said
thought
asked
answered
cried
whispered
muttered
responded
nodded
And
But


FIRST PERSON MACROS
I = highlight only
Me= him/her
My= his/her
We
Us
Our = their (one at a time!)
-self = as in, myself, herself, himself. Just highlight and correct manually.
Mine